Medicine says I possess incurable cancer, I say: maybe it is incurable cancer, but definitely cancer does not possess me.
If I become a slave to this cancer I lose all freedom, but if I forget its presence I lose every possibility of survival.
I spend my time searching for a balance between remembering and forgetting so as to continue living despite my circumstances, whether to live well or to die well.
Remembering to keep my mind clear and calm both in times of storms and in moments of peace.
Remembering everyone I met with cancer that is no longer here, keeping in mind that they also did their best until they couldn’t anymore. Forgetting their own suffering because that is only personal and private.
Remembering how important it is to keep hope, which is real until you lose it.
Remembering to keep my healthy habits on track during party days because it is there where it lies the risk of forgetting them and not just remembering them when pain squeezes my blood, stiffens my nerves and no longer allows me to continue with many of my daily activities.
Remembering to continue studying in order to understand more of this cancer with whom I cohabit and remembering also to stop reading when it is enough because if I don’t I will spend my life inside a book and then it will lose its meaning.
Forgetting my past pain -both physical and psychical-, in order to be able to plan my life for today, but remembering it enough in order to live in consciousness.
Forgetting, even if it is difficult, my past life so as to give it a chance to rise into a new version of itself and, if I’m lucky enough, an improved one.
Remembering the action and forgetting the reaction, Remembering love and forgetting fear.
Remembering the present and forgetting the future.
Because now I’m here and then, tomorrow, I don’t know.